Why You Need to Learn to Say No

Most times, I tend to say "yes," which leads me to do things that are important and wonderful but which I don't have time for. I can't do my best when I say "yes" to too many things. And that makes me more stressed and makes me more likely to get burned out.

One of my personal goals is to learn to say "no" more often. I don't want people to dislike me because I say "no" to things. That's true, but I also know that I have a bad habit of agreeing to things and then not following through. I don't want to be that person any more!

So, let's say "no" to the people-pleasers and over-committers in our lives. This will help us be more free. To learn how to say "no" more often, here are some tips on how to use this powerful tool.

Start with a check of your sixth sense.

Derek Sivers, one of my favorite simple rules for when to say "no," said that if your answer isn't "hell yes!" then it's "no." if I don't feel like I want to do something right away, I'm learning to give it to someone who can do it well.

Another thing to think about is: If this event, project, or opportunity were to happen tomorrow, would you say "yes?" We often say "yes" to things because they are a long time away and we think we can fit them in. However, if our hearts aren't really in it, no matter how far in advance you make the promise, we're likely to feel bad about it.

It's important to protect both your calendar and your mental health

Make sure you know how much time and money you have to work on a new project before agreeing to it. "No" is the best answer if you don't think you can do it well.

This is how to do it: Make a "calendar" instead of having a "to do" list: Look at your calendar first to see if it fits. If you already have too many things planned, I think you know what to say.

As well, ask yourself the same question. Coach: "What do you want to be held accountable for? " Before you drop the ball, how many things can you be responsible for before you do it? People who say "yes" to you should not waste their time and energy on a project you can't finish.

Ask someone else for help with your project.

People might think that I don't want to say "no," but I'm still not sure how to say it.

To deal with this fear, she told me to call or email her first. Brilliant. People who know me well know that I can always say no to something, but bouncing an idea off of someone else helps me make better choices. An "insurance policy" can protect you from being led astray by your desire to please.

A lot of people find it hard to learn to say "no." "No," on the other hand, is better than saying "yes," only to do a bad job or back out at the last minute. If I'm a people-pleaser, I'm not sure which is worse. You should choose the answer that will make you more popular and respected.

I know that saying "no" a lot of the time is the right thing to do, but I'm still nervous about it, and I think it will be difficult for me to do so. How do I know it's the right word for a year of real growth? It should be a struggle.

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Contributed by: Henry Mubiru Kweba. 

Views expressed by our contributors are their own.